I doNOT!
by Nocturnalux
Summary: Ribbons manages Tieria into marrying him for political reasons in the hope of creating peace...somehow. Craziness follows. Lots of BL smut of the crack kind, expect insanity in every chapter. Like all of my Gundam 00 fics this was first published on the kinkmeme way back in the day so it references it on occasion.
1. Chapter 1

That there were many ways of ensuring peace Tieria knew full well. That some of them involved his getting married to Ribbons, however, was not something he had ever anticipated. Unfortunately, it was so. Tieria had agreed to a tactical and political alliance that required only his signature as far as ceremonies went. 

So he was more than a little annoyed now that he stood in front of a full length mirror. The ruffles of his wedding dress cascaded down his legs and made it difficult to turn around and check out the shiny white bow that sprouted from his lower back and covered his ass. Tieria hated it with a passion and he could not understand why Ribbons had insisted on making him wear this preposterous attire unless it was deliberately to ruffle his feathers. If that was it then it was clearly working. 

Tieria turned around again and nearly tripped on his absurdly high heels. Was he really expected to walk down a long aisle when he could not even properly stand in them, it was utterly idiotic. Tieria glared at his image in the mirror. He hated everything about this dress, from the tight feathery corset to the fringes of the ridiculous long tail that dragged on the floor. As if he needed more things to hinder his mobility. He clenched his hands, the elbow high gloves creasing slightly. 

"My, that is the most forlorn bride I have ever seen." 

Tieria tried to spin around, failed as his heels gave way and he ended up landing in Ribbon's arms. 

"Let go of me!" 

Ribbons patted fluffy purple hair through the transparent veil. 

"Is that any way of treating your groom?" 

Tieria pushed himself off Ribbons and tried to kill him with a glare. 

"Why am I the bride? This outfit is too uncomfortable. Why do I have to wear it?" 

Ribbons smiled. Tieria's anger was a bonus in this whole affair. 

"Because you're so pretty and you look so…tasty in it." 

Tieria blushed out of sheer rage. 

"Shut up. You know this is a political marriage and nothing more." 

"Oh? Does that mean we won't have a great wedding night? I am looking forward to making the bed creak." 

Tieria slapped Ribbons across the face, hard enough to make it resound. Unfortunately for Tieria it did nothing to wipe out the Ribbons' smile. Tieria wanted to scream. 

"You're a feisty one, Tieria. That's one of the reasons why I like you so much." 

Tieria opened his mouth to protest but before he could utter a word Ribbons had closed in the space between them and kissed him, suddenly and without a warning. Tieria tried to pull away but Ribbons held him in place, his tongue darting inside Tieria's mouth as he tasted him.  
Tieria was breathless and boiling with rage by the time Ribbons allowed him to emerge from the kiss. He could feel himself blush ever deeper and getting hot. 

"How- how _dare_ you!" 

Ribbons tilted Tieria's chin and looked into deeply red eyes. 

"We are engaged to be married, I can kiss my bride if I feel like it. And I feel like it." 

Ribbons kissed him again, slowly this time around. Tieria tried to pull away once again, he felt slightly dizzy and unsure of what to do about it, but Ribbons niftily stepped forward and took advantage of his disorientation to corner him into falling back into a sofa.  
There was a whoosh of satin as Tieria's layered skirts pooled around him. 

"It's a political union! There's no need for this!" 

Ribbons leaned and nipped at Tieria's collar bone, pinning his wrists high above his head and settling on top of him so that he could not kick. Tieria squirmed and cursed inwardly. He was beyond angry by now, not just at Ribbons but at himself. His lacy panties- hand picked by Ribbons, not surprisingly- felt all too tight as Ribbons shifted his weight so as to grind against him. 

"Would it be really bad if I left a mark?" 

Ribbons sucked at the hollow of his neck. Tieria's smooth skin felt much warmer than usual and it made Ribbons very happy. 

"Get off me already!" 

Ribbons smiled widely and parted the folds of the skirts to reveal a milky portion of tight, white garters and matching panties. He traced a finger along the budding bulge in the sleek fabric, causing Tieria to squirm some more. 

"And what is this? For all your complaining, it seems you're enjoying yourself.


	2. Chapter 2

Tieria glared furiously. 

"What do you think you're doing?" 

Ribbons added more pressure and took the developing erection between two fingers. The lace was rubbing against his skin and the added feel of Ribbons' hand had him fully hard and it was with great effort that Tieria did not buck reflexively. 

"Do I really need to explain it to you, Tieria?" 

Ribbons kissed him and moved a thumb over the moist tip of Tieria's erection, causing the fabric to grow damp. Tieria gasped as he pushed his hips upwards for more contact and found himself kissing him back before turning his head to the side. Ribbons simply moved to kissing his neck, tracing a fast pulse with his tongue. 

"Stop…that." 

Tieria wished that he could sound commanding but he did not need to check the mirror to know that his cheeks were burning and that his breathing was shallower than it should be. It caused his chest to heave against the unyielding corset. 

"You can say all you want but your body tells me all I need to know." 

Tieria bit his lower lip as Ribbons pressed his own erection against his groin, slowly grinding. He let go of Tieria's hands now who hooked one of them on the sofa's arms, the gloves slipping. 

"You're _sick_." 

"That's just the way you like it, my cute and needy bride." 

Ribbons peeled the gloves away and licked his fingers one by one, the grinding not stopping and Tieria stammered. 

"I hate you." 

"Now that hurts, Tieria. When you say those things. Especially when you're this hard already." 

Tieria tried to think of a retort but he was getting very hot and slightly confused. His anger was mingled with lust and he was not even sure where one ended and the other began. Maybe he was so turned on because he was angry. 

"You're a rapist, Ribbons Almark." 

Ribbons adopted a mock offended expression and parted Tieria's legs, pressing the inner thighs as he hooked a leg over the arm of the sofa. 

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. I will have to punish you now. And I love you so much." 

Tieria rolled his eyes and Ribbons took the opportunity to slip his panties down to his knees and set his member free of constrains. Tieria took a sharp breath and sighed. Before he could say anything Ribbons was licking his hardness. Just briefly enough to make Tieria whine as Ribbons withdrew. Tieria turned hazy eyes to Ribbons. 

"Is there something you want to want to me to do, Tieria?" 

Tieria bit his lip again. He was dripping over the dress and eager to have more of that wet feeling of pleasure but he could not ask for it. His anger climbed a notch as he saw Ribbons' smile grow wider. 

"I want you to get _off_ me right now." 

Ribbons held Tieria's face with both hands and licked swollen lips. 

"I have a better idea. I'll get off on you…or in you." 

Tieria's heart skipped a beat and he took another sharp breath. 

"Why you-" 

He stopped mid sentence as Ribbons unbuckled and removed his pants and boxers. Tieria did not want to stare. He really didn't. And he certainly did not want to imagine how _that_ would feel inside him. Tieria was trying almost desperately not to think about such things when Ribbons reached into the many folds of fabric and squeezed a buttock and probed his entrance, slowly working a finger into him. Tieria tried to complain but Ribbons was sucking his length, rolling a tongue around it while keeping him from bucking as Tieria so wanted. 

Ribbons pulled away and pushed the finger deeper, smiled with genuine mirth at Tieria's whimper. 

"I told you I had to punish you, didn't I? And I'm a man of my word."


	3. Chapter 3

Tieria's anger was reaching a whole new level. He folded his arms and smirked.

"You're not even a man. You're an Innovator." 

"Right back at you, Tieria."  
Before Tieria had a chance of saying anything Ribbons had turned him around and pinned him to the sofa. Tieria tried to set himself free but the foamy white folds that bundled around him made it virtually impossible. Not to mention Ribbons, who now climbed unto the sofa and began to quietly undo the strings of Tieria's corset. It removed the pressure on his chest even as it added it to his lower back, Ribbons gingerly making sure that Tieria got the point. 

"Will you let go already!" 

Tieria tried to squirm away with little success. At least he could breathe easier now that the strings were loosened. Ribbons kissed the hollow of his neck and sucked his way upward until he was nibbling an earlobe. It made Tieria doubly nervous that he could not see Ribbons even as he could feel one of those sardonic smiles plastered against his sensitive skin. Ribbons smothered the many layers of fabric and suddenly tugged at the corset strings, tightening it so abruptly that Tieria was dizzy as black spots exploded on his field of vision. He was still struggling to get enough air into his lungs to keep himself from blacking out when he heard a ruffle of skirts being lifted and then Ribbons was ramming into him. 

Tieria lurched forward- as much as he could, that is- in a futile attempt to escape from the blazing white pain that seared his insides. Involuntary tears welled and he blinked them away as a reflex more than anything else. He did not want Ribbons to have the satisfaction of seeing him cry but he hardly cared when all he could feel was choking agony and blinding pain. 

"Is my adorable bride regretting his terrible attitude?"  
Ribbons remained buried to the hilt, firmly sheathed and unmoving and some of his mocking tone reached Tieria even through the haze of pain. Tieria spoke through gritted teeth but he made sure he sounded as unaffected as possible.

"Not really. Only goes to show that you _are_ a rapist." 

Ribbons turned Tieria's face so that he could see the cocky smile that he could feel in his words. It was as enjoyable as being deep inside Tieria. And it would be even more enjoyable to see it shatter. 

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Why do you do this? You force me to punish you. It breaks my heart." 

Ribbons gave him one hard thrust and tightened the corset a bit more. Tieria did not cry out but it took all of his effort. He clutched the sofa and braced himself as Ribbons pounded into him, mercilessly, sending blasts of hot pain through his body. It burnt from the inside and travelled along his nerves like warped electricity until he his very skin was slippery with sweat under the dress. 

"You don't have a heart." 

The rocking motion was briefly interrupted as Ribbons angled his aim slightly upwards and Tieria tossed his head back and arched his body to meet the rapid impact that made him gasp even as the corset crushed him anew. In the distracting swirl of wild pain Tieria had almost forgotten all about his arousal but he was reminded it of it now. Tieria was not expecting this kind of piercing pleasure nor did he know what to do as he became all too aware of his dripping erection rubbing against the maddeningly smooth fabric of too many skirts. 

Ribbons slowed down, deliberately thrusting deeply so as to strike the precise right spot. Tieria almost wanted the pain back instead of this feverish feeling that left him defenseless. A strangled moan left him before he could stifle it. 

"You were saying something? It's difficult to understand when you're moaning." 

Another sharp thrust forced another moan out of Tieria. This was pure torture, his body was turning into a pliant line twisted around a scorching centre of pleasure that irradiated each time Ribbons pounded into him and it was with difficulty that he did not urge him to go faster.


	4. Chapter 4

Tieria sighed and placed his forehead against the sofa to see if he could gain some control over the slight confusion that was clouding his judgment- that was the only way he could explain his desire to push back into intrusive hardness- and his hand crept to his groin.

"Now, now, Tieria. I'll have none of that." 

Ribbons niftily slapped his hand and Tieria managed a very angry glare over his shoulder. His lust fueled his anger instead of nullifying it and it all became worse as frustration climbed a few more notches. 

"You're a bastard." 

Ribbons chuckled merrily and withdrew, picked up Tieria and the bundle of ruffles and deposited him in front of the full length mirror. Tieria was too surprised at the sudden loss of contact- not to mention disappointed, not that he was about to admit to _that_- to struggle and it was only when he found himself lying on the floor amidst a confusion of fluttery fabric that he tried to scramble away. It proved a fruitless effort as Tieria could not coordinate stiletto heels and yards of white stuff that weighted him down. Ribbons chuckled again and nimbly got him on his hand and knees, facing his furious bridal attired reflection. 

"What's so funny?" 

"You are." 

Ribbons neatly kept him in place and tilted his chin so that Tieria could do not look away from the mirror, much to his profound annoyance. Why should he blush like this, it was unseemly. It was probably because he could hardly breathe with the absurd torture devise into which his upper body was encase, the dreadful corset that Tieria would burn as soon as this was over. He was thinking about this when Ribbons peeled away a stocking and gingerly used it to bind his hands behind his back. 

"What are you doing, untie me right _now_!" 

Ribbons traced some fingers along Tieria's hip and scooted the skirts out of the way. 

"Or what? You'll look at me really angrily? I'm scared now." 

Tieria settled for disgruntled silence. He tried to free his arms but it was no use. Tieria felt utterly helpless, unable to move and in a highly uncomfortable position. He squirmed as Ribbons wrapped and arm around his waist and got him stare straight at the mirror once again and hissed as Ribbons impaled him in one sudden thrust. 

Ribbons's pace was fast, each impact sending sparkles over Tieria's field of vision but he could still see the way his mouth was shaped in a rosy 'o' that was close to begging, how his eyes were growing unfocused and blurred, how he moved in tandem with the rhythm that sent his body rocking back and forth with true eagerness. And behind him Ribbons kept smiling mockingly enough as he fucked him senseless. 

"You know, Tieria…white wedding dresses are meant for virgin brides. Not very fitting for you." 

Tieria did not exactly care about human conventions about purity any more than he cared for human matters in general but he was highly annoyed by the teasing on Ribbons' part. Then again, he was not exactly thinking properly at the moment, not with a hard length of flesh shoved into him and rubbing on his weak spot repeatedly. A tingling rush filled him and as Ribbons sat him on his back, fully bringing him down on his erection, Tieria could not even complain. The shift of pressure inside him was enough to make him forget that his tied hands added strain to his arms and that the jostling of so many skirts looked like he was drowning in foam. 

"Oh…" 

Tieria opened his legs widely to gain some leverage as his body moved up and down, absorbing the thrusts that Ribbons delivered. He arched his back as bits of dress slipped enough to expose his red tipped member that was dripping and in dear need of attention. Tieria hated the way it showed on the mirror, bobbing up and down and dripping. 

"Still want me to stop, Tieria?" 

That was the last thing he wanted. As much as he hated Ribbons he needed him to give him more of this breathless feeling. Ribbons took the opportunity to slowly unloose and equally slowly tighten the corset strings and much to Tieria's horror he could see fresh pre-cum oozing out of him as well as feel it messily coat his length.


	5. Chapter 5

Tieria cursed his luck yet again.

"…whatever…" 

Ribbons gave him a sharp thrust and Tieria flailed some. At least Ribbons took the opportunity to untie the stocking and free his arms. Tieria's first reaction was to turn around and slap Ribbons as hard as possible but as it turned out he could only brace himself to keep his balance as Ribbons mercilessly fucked him. 

"I'll take that as 'Please don't stop.'" 

Tieria rolled his eyes emphatically and Ribbons giggled. 

"Spare me." 

"You really need to work on your manners, Tieria _darling_." 

Ribbons lightly touched the very wet flesh that poked through the layers of white satin and Tieria bucked immediately, his body running away with him. Tieria groaned in wordless protest as Ribbons, still gingerly giggling, wrapped his testicles with the fabled stocking. Tieria gasped and gasped some more. He could feel himself edging closer to a heated climax but the newly added restrain kept him on the verge, Ribbons delivering well aimed thrusts that lifted his whole body and then sent him crashing down. Tieria squirmed and gritted his teeth. 

"…bastard…" 

Once again Ribbons guided Tieria's chin so that he had no other option than to watch his reflection. Tieria matched Ribbons' movements perfectly now, his eagerness increasing with each tug at the stocking from Ribbons' part as his thoughts became muddled. 

"Tell you what, Tieria. I'll be nice to you. I'll let you come if we exchange our vows right here and now." 

It took Tieria a few seconds to fully realize just what Ribbons meant. 

"Why…?" 

Ribbons hardly had to do anything, Tieria taking it to himself to ride his hardness for all he was worth, the frustrating plateau making him literally squirm in expectation. 

"Call it rehearsal. Let's try your part. 'Do you, Tieria Erde, accept the great Ribbons Almark to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?'" 

"…ego maniac." 

"Wrong answer. It's just two little words, Tieria. Even you should manage that." 

Ribbons gave a hard tug at the stocking that nearly ripped Tieria's balls, or so he felt, even as the pain faded into constant waves of pleasure. 

"I- I do…" 

Ribbons kept Tieria from moving and slowly bore into him, rubbing against his weak spot with enough insistence to make him moan incoherently. 

"Not loud enough, my bride." 

Tieria gave up on being subdued. 

"I DO! Happy now?!" 

"So much better." 

Ribbons undid with the knot and Tieria's orgasm hit him immediately. Hot bouts of euphoria burst upon him and he was hardly aware of Ribbons releasing inside him. Tieria watched himself spray the mirror even as convulsions racked his body. His orgasm sapped all energy from him and Tieria was glad to finally collapse on the floor, a bundle of fabric on his wake, a smooth feeling of satiated contentment lulling him into almost falling asleep. He was only vaguely aware that Ribbons was sitting in the sofa but could feel his eyes glittering all over him. 

"Oy! You're not supposed to see the bride in her wedding dress. That's bad luck!" 

Tieria snapped out of this soothing afterglow and clambered to his feet, his eyes shooting daggers at a very puzzled Lockon that stood at the threshold, scratching his head. 

"That's not what's wrong here! And what are you doing here?!" 

Lockon took notice of the highly disheveled dress that was partially wet, of Tieria's flushed face, of Ribbons happily sitting on the plush sofa and then of the suspicious white stuff sliding down the mirror. 

"Erm, well, you were taking so long to try the dress that I decided to check on you." 

Tieria was trying to gather his bearing when a bouncy Haro sprang out of nowhere and in his surprise he tripped and would have fallen if Ribbons did not easily sweep him off the floor and into his arms. 

"Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations." 

The small round robot flapped its ears happily and opened its mouth to reveal two wedding rings.

"Haro brought you your rings! So nice of him, don't you think?" 

Tieria staggered out of Ribbons' embrace and glared at him, then glared at Lockon, then glared at the Haro that immediately grew silent. 

"No, I don't think. I don't want any stupid rings, we're not even a couple! I hate Ribbons!" 

Ribbons shook his head in mock sadness. 

"Oh…well, you guys couldn't even wait for the wedding night…you don't have to be embarrassed, Tieria! I think it's great that you're in love!"


	6. Chapter 6

Tieria choked and stammered.

"In love?! Are you completely out of your mind?!"

Ribbons chuckled and Tieria considered throwing a shoe at him. Put those high heels to good use.

Tieria had a moment of such blinding fury that he could not even speak. Ribbons spoke for him.

"I'm afraid we cannot reproduce like humans-"

"Lockon Stratos, you do realize I am male? Not to mention not capable of sexual reproduction? This is a political union! That's all there is to it! What part of 'political union' can't you understand?!"

The Haro discretely rolled back to Lockon as if intimidated by Tieria's outburst.

"It seems that my beautiful bride does not understand my feelings. To think that I love Tieria so very much-"

"Oh shut up."

Ribbons shrugged.

"Erm…if you guys want some privacy I'll tell the others to wait. 'Cause everyone really wants to see how you look in the wedding dress…speaking of which, maybe you need a new one?"

Tieria's dress was rather tattered by now with bits of puff scattered all over the floor.

"I don't care one way or another."

Ribbons shut him up with a kiss and Tieria was doubly annoyed by Lockon's goofy 'aww'.

"We'll get you a shorter dress. One that is easier to remove."

Ribbons kissed him again, a deep kiss that ended with a slight bite to the lower lip. In the background Lockon whistled.

"You're a bastard, Ribbons Almark."

Ribbons lightly kissed Tieria's hand with borderline gallantry.

"I love you too, Tieria."

"It's too short."

Tieria was sure that nothing could be worse than the nightmarish ruffles and corset but this kinky white dress that hardly covered his ass was possibly more annoying to wear. For one, it also limited his mobility even if a slit ran up almost all the way to his waist and exposed transparent stockings coupled with dreadful garters. It was very obvious that Ribbons had selected another bridal attire that Tieria hated with a passion.

"Oh? I think it's fine."

Tieria's eyes narrowed. Ribbons looked very happy in his vaguely 18th century outfit with royal blue frills and a jacket. Where was the guillotine when you were in dire of one, Tieria wondered. His bitter reveries were interrupted by an unfamiliar sound that he could not quite place.

"It's here!"

Ribbons gingerly sauntered to the window and Tieria followed as fast as he could considering the dress. Parked just outside was the strangest vehicle Tieria had ever seen. Something with horses whose hoofs striking the road must have been the mysterious sound and some sort of bizarre plush carriage of sorts with plenty of seating room.

"What is that?"

Ribbons smiled widely.

"It's my special couch carriage deluxe, bridal version. Costume made by Ikea."

Tieria took a second look at it. Very red, very big, very weird.

"So…it's a giant couch on wheels? And you expect me to ride on that with you?"

"You do not understand the beauty of sophistication."

Tieria shrugged.

"Horse power is completely outdated."

"It's a matter of style, Tieria. You should be honored that you get to ride on my dream carriage."

Tieria rolled his eyes.

"I don't care one whit for your car…thing, whatever it is. And why is this stupid ceremony taking place at a church anyway?"

Tieria did not terribly mind putting his signature on a piece of paper at some notary or whatever department handled matrimony contracts but walking down the aisle as if this was a normal wedding was utterly purposeless not to mention aggravating.

"As you have gone to great lengths to say, it's a political union. And political unions need visibility and dignity. By the way, it's not a church but a cathedral."

Tieria folded his arms. The sleeves were very smooth and transparent. They were also the most modest aspect of the whole dress.

"You want me to walk into a cathedral dressed like a stripper?"

Ribbons chuckled.

"It's a tasteful choice of attire. And you were the one who complained that your former dress was disagreeable."

Tieria placed a foot on the sofa and pointed at the slit that widened enough to reveal a generous portion of thigh.

"Are you serious? Look at it! It's too short and it rides up when I sit."

Ribbons eyes slid down Tieria's body.

"Oh don't worry…I'm looking and enjoying what I see."

Tieria put his foot back on the floor.

"Where do you find these things anyway? Sex shops?"

"I have them costume made, of course."

Tieria was puzzled.

"How do you know my measures?"

"I used Regene to-"

Tieria placed a hand over Ribbons' mouth and glanced around rapidly as if afraid. It was Ribbons' turn to be surprised.


	7. Chapter 7

"Hush, don't say his name. Or he'll appear." 

Tieria's face was very close to Ribbons as he whispered. Only after Ribbons nodding did he remove his hand, slowly. 

"Aren't you being a bit too paranoid? I don't think Rege-" 

"I told you not to say his name! You don't know how it's like. I keep seeing shiny glasses from the corner of my eyes. That and purple." 

"Maybe you're just spending too much time in front of mirrors." 

"Don't get smart with me! I'm telling you he stalks me so! In fact," 

Tieria got on all fours and peered under the sofa. Ribbons got a good sight of a very shapely ass popped in the air. 

"-Not here. Thank Veda for that." 

Ribbons coughed. 

"That skirt of yours really rides up." 

Tieria half sat half knelt on the floor and looked up at Ribbons. 

"I've been saying that all along. Not that you pay attention to what I say anyway. At least he's not hiding here." 

"Brotherly love is so…special." 

Tieria got up and proceeded to tug at the skirt in an attempt to make it longer.

"Shut up. This is so short, I might as well walk around naked." 

Ribbons brightened up at this. 

"That is a good idea." 

Ribbons took a step in his direction. 

"Back off. We'll be late at this rate." 

"Ah yes, you are so fond of punctuality." 

They made their way outside, Tieria stumbling a few steps behind Ribbons because he was not in the mood to take the offered arm and he still could not quite handle absurdly high heels. Standing in the shadow of Ribbons' vehicle Tieria realized just how weird it truly was. Why the plushy platform should be so high up was beyond him nor did he approve of the garish red color. 

"What is this, your couch-mobile? The cockpit is as high as my Gundam's." 

Tieria walked around it, curiously. It lacked weapons that he could identify which was a great flaw in its design. Ribbons followed him. 

"It is convertible so there is a roof. And it also flies." 

"It flies? That is interesting." 

Tieria came across a ladder and handed his heels to Ribbons. He began climbing while Ribbons took the opportunity to appreciate the way Tieria's ass moved under the skimpy dress. 

"Ladies first." 

Tieria stopped and turned around rapidly, hooking a leg on the ladder to keep himself from falling. 

"Shut up! Will you ever stop aggravating me?" 

Ribbons shrugged and activated a ramp that neatly carried him all the way to the gigantic seat. 

"Do not fall, Tieria." 

Tieria glared and carried on climbing. He should have known that there would be another way of accessing the vehicle proper but he was not used to neat escalators. Unfortunately by the time he reached the highly plush cockpit-like mega couch he was panting from exertion while Ribbons was already sitting merrily. 

"Welcome aboard!" 

Tieria took a few tentative steps in the deep carpet-like surface. His feet sank all the way to the ankle and it was with some difficulty that he made his way to the actual seat that ran around the whole area of the cockpit. Tieria made sure he sat apart from Ribbons and tried to keep the skirt from climbing up and failed at it. Ribbons activated the roof that covered the open seat and the vehicle began turning on its wheels. 

Tieria eased back and nearly got swallowed by the cushions, his legs kicking in the air as he struggled to free himself. Ribbons picked him up and placed him on his lap. 

"Your couch-mobile is as unpractical as it is ugly." 

"Are you always this sour, Tieria?" 

Tieria tossed his hair angrily enough, a swish of silky purple tickling Ribbons. 

"You can't expect me to be happy about this arrangement." 

Ribbons ran his fingers through Tieria's hair, combing it. 

"Why not? Luxury, being pampered and the best sex you could ask for." 

Tieria wished that he could scramble out of Ribbons' lap but the seats were like bogs of fabric. 

"Like I'd want to have sex with _you_." 

Ribbons giggled. 

"Always so snarky. And I had you begging just yesterday."


	8. Chapter 8

Tieria settled for forlorn silence. Ribbons interrupted it. 

"Which reminds me, about our honeymoon. Like you've said you don't care for that so I took the liberty of booking us a romantic tropical cruise." 

Tieria shrugged. 

"I suppose it could be worse. Somehow. Which reminds me…" 

Tieria looked around, his eyes narrowed. He stepped out of Ribbons' lap and studied his surroundings as if he was on the battlefield, zeroing for potential enemies. Ribbons made a mental note to re-educate Tieria, his soldier ways were not ladylike enough to be his wife. 

"Is something wrong?" 

"Hush. I'm trying to see if he's around." 

Tieria removed one of the huge pillows with a sweep and nearly fell backwards. He peered cautiously into the hole. 

"Do you mean Rege-" 

"I told you not to say his name!" 

Ribbons titled his head to the side. 

"I'm beginning to think you want your twin to stalk you. I'm a bit jealous, after all you are engaged to me." 

Tieria rolled his eyes and adjusted his glasses. 

"Don't be ridiculous." 

Ribbons made him sit on his lap once more and unzipped him clean out of his dress. 

"This one is so much easier to remove. You must find it so practical." 

"I got the point. No need to undress me."

Ribbons eased him on the seat on his back and clambered on top of him, casting a light kiss on his lips. 

"Any excuse to get you naked is a good one." 

"It figures that you would say that. Pervert." 

Ribbons divested himself of his clothes and pinned him down, running a finger down Tieria's chest, navel, poking the bellybutton and stopping just short of the silky panties. 

"Now, now, Tieria. Few things are less perverted than sex between an engaged couple in the missionary position." 

Tieria rolled his eyes again and tried to push his hips up as Ribbons slipped a hand between lacy fabric and flesh. 

"We don't have to do this, it's just a political union…" 

"Of course." 

Ribbons rubbed him and slid one finger inside, caressing an inner tight. 

"Then why are you doing this anyway?" 

It amused Ribbons considerably that even as Tieria rambled like this he grew flushed and became hard. 

"Be nice for a change, Tieria." 

Tieria closed his eyes as Ribbons widened him, skillfully enough, adding pressure to his insides and letting it build. 

"What do you mean, 'be nice'? I'm always nice! You're the rapist here!" 

Ribbons chuckled and tossed Tieria's panties. 

"And you're putting on such a fight. You're nasty, snarky, rude and not at all polished." 

Tieria snapped as Ribbons fully expected him to. Predictable behavior from his holier than thou bride. 

"What does that have to do with anything? Don't expect _me_ to change for your convenience." 

Ribbons added another finger and pushed deeply into him, lathering an already hard nipple and tweaking the other one. Tieria sighed and spread his legs so that Ribbons could get just the right spot. 

"I'll add hypocrisy to the list of your offenses." 

Tieria was vaguely aware that his vitriol sounded less than impressing when he was being finger fucked and enjoying every moment of it but that did not stop him. 

"As if you could say anything, you rapist." 

Ribbons chuckled again and replaced his fingers by his dick, slowing penetrating him and laughing at Tieria who wrapped his long legs around him for more stimulation. 

"You must stop saying that. It's not rape, I'm giving you just what you want." 

Tieria moaned and tried to gain some leverage by using his elbows to lift his body off the couch. Ribbons got the gist and scooted closer so that he could ram into him for all he was worth. Tieria let him kiss him even if he could not be bothered to kiss back. 

"Hurry…" 

For once Ribbons actually obeyed and repeatedly plunged into him. Tieria clutched at the sofa and Ribbons unhooked his legs so that he could bend them over his shoulders. Tieria was only aware of the impact that sent his body rocking and so he did not exactly understand when Ribbons gingerly announced, 

"We have arrived."


	9. Chapter 9

Tieria blinked. His glasses were slightly askew but he could see Ribbons' amusement all too well. For a second he was sure that Ribbons would just walk away. 

"You will finish what you started, Ribbons Almark!" 

Ribbons shrugged and gave him a few hard thrusts that knocked the commanding attitude straight out of him, reducing Tieria to a moaning mess, fists clutching the seat. 

"But I thought you didn't want to be late." 

"Never…mind…that." 

Ribbons crashed into him a few more times. The suspension of the vehicle caused it to sway in tandem with the pattern that shook Tieria's whole body at ever diminishing intervals. 

"My, just like I asked Ikea to make it, waterbed-like." 

Tieria's knuckles were white and he clung to the couch in a flailing way and he came almost silently all over Ribbons who followed a few thrusts later, making another mental not to let impetuous purple hairs get their satisfaction before himself in the future. Tieria was very cute as he basked in his afterglow and Ribbons wiped a rebel strand of hair that swished over his closed eyes. A pink blush over his delicate features and Ribbons' release trailing between his buttocks increased this impression. It lasted only until Tieria broke the silence to say, 

"This silly dress you picked _is_ too short."

Nevertheless Tieria got dressed in the skimpy white thing and combed his hair, much to Ribbons' amusement. His amazing couch mobile was equipped with a protective invisible layer was could be easily removed to keep the covers spotlessly clean. He too cleaned himself and got dressed in what Tieria thought was the most fanciful frilly shirt and vaguely ballroom-like outfit. 

"That is a very clever contraption. Hygiene is important." 

"Could it be that we actually agree on something, Tieria!" 

Tieria humphed and put on his shoes. 

"Let us just leave this insane car of yours." 

Tieria took the escalator ramp simply for convenience sake. By now he had given up on any attempts to make the skirt any longer. To his surprise Tieria found a rather embarrassed cluster of wedding guests standing in front of a huge cathedral. Allelujah was blushing intensely and staring at his feet. Revive and Hilling were giggling in the background. Sumeragi seemed unsure of how to react. Lockon had that mischievous look on his while. And Setsuna was, well, Setsuna. 

"Why are you people just standing around like that?" 

Lockon burst out laughing. 

"Now that was some crazy action. That couch thing was really shaking. You're going to be on fire for your honeymoon!" 

Tieria's eyebrow twitched. Ribbons wisely took a few steps aside to be on the safe side.

"Shut up, Lockon Stratos! You are way out of line!" 

Lockon rubbed his hands happily. 

"We better get this wedding started or you guys may end up going at it in church! Hey, that's kinda hot when I think about it." 

Hilling and Revive had a combined fit of hilarity. Tieria glared at Lockon and even Ribbons pitied the fool. Especially when Tieria removed a shoe and threw it at Lockon who narrowly dodged it. 

"Oy, don't be so cross! It's all good!" 

Tieria removed the other shoe and was about to throw it, in a clear display of his bitchy ways. At this point Setsuna decided to intervene. 

"Tieria Erde. Gets screwed by Ribbons. Likes it, too." 

Ribbons had to laugh but he regretted it almost immediately. 

"It's not funny! Not funny! Setsuna, you of all people should not be making such remarks!" 

Revive and Hilling threw themselves on the ground in a giggling fit. 

"And you two! I'll have you shot! I mean it!" 

"Yeah, right. Like you'd actually hit us!" 

"Way to go, Ribbons!" 

Tieria's self control snapped. He stumbled his way to the laughing pair and kicked them both with a one heel he was still wearing. Tieria then turned to Ribbons and smiled happily, retrieved the one missing shoe- going past the now sniffling Revive and Hilling who tried their best not to cry too much- and put it back on. 

"I feel so much better now. Shall we go, Ribbons." 

Ribbons offered his arm and together they walked into the towering building.

*

"What the...what the…? What are these guys doing here?!" 

Tieria stared in mute horror at the mountains of Brings and Devines that filled most of the pews. 

"Well, as you said this is a political union and as such we need a full house to attend. Your acquaintances and mine are not enough to fill the cathedral so I took the liberty of inviting them." 

Tieria blinked. And blinked some more. 

"What do you mean, you invited them?! Where did they come from?" 

"I cloned them." 

"You what?! The one character I actually manage to kill gets mass produced?! Get them out of here!" 


End file.
